Why I could never be on Survivor.
Sunday, April 16th, 2006
This has not been a good week for me and gardening.
First, the azalea thing.
Next we have the tale of the Burning Eye Pores.
Yesterday at about 6pm I was out in the back yard, and I decided to pull a few weeds. This turned into about 20 minutes of vigorous weed-pulling. Normally I wear gloves in the garden, but since this was an impromptu weeding session, I didn’t bother.
That was my first mistake.
I came inside at about 6:30 and washed up. A few minutes later, my eyes started burning. And watering. I’m talking a steady stream of tears pouring down my face. I flushed my eyes out with water, but it didn’t help. It was seriously bizarre.
After about a half hour, it was getting worse instead of better. I was ready to go to the ER. I called Dr. Dad, who advised me to take a dose of Benadryl and give it another 30-45 minutes before worrying too much. I took the Benadryl at 7:15 and cancelled my plans for the evening,
By about 8pm, the left eye was a little better, but the right eye was still on fire. I’m not sure but there may have been actual flames shooting out of my eye. I had flushed my eyes, scrubbed my hands and arms up to my elbows, washed my face, and it wasn’t getting any better. I decided maybe I should take a shower, in case whatever I was reacting to had gotten into my hair or something.
This was Mistake Number Two.
Apparently, the heat from the shower was not helpful. By the end of it, I felt like my eye pores must have opened and sucked in even more of whatever was causing the problem. Okay, fine, I don’t think there’s such a thing as eye pores, but it’s fun to say.
EYE PORES! EYE PORES! EYE PORES!
The left eye was feeling ok, but the right eye was now worse than it had ever been. I could barely open it without a surge of burning pain, and the tears weren’t stopping. DAMN YOU, EYE PORES.
I dried off as quickly as I could and went to lie down in the dark, since any sort of light seemed to make it worse. I put a cold washcloth on my eyes and waited.
By about 9:30pm (three hours from when the pain started!) my right eye seemed to be calming down a bit, so after a brief period of TV watching, with a homemade eye patch made of paper towels stuck over the right lens of my eyeglasses, I tucked myself in and went to sleep.
This morning my eyes are fine.
Which brings me to the subject of today’s post. After showering and washing my hair last night, I was too distracted by the ongoing eye pore trauma to put any sort of product in my naturally curly hair. This never happens. EVER.
So when I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror at the puffball-afro-medusa-baby chick-Don King thing happening on my head, I realized it was official: I can never be on a reality show that involves a lack of quality hair care products.
This has not been a good week for me and gardening.
First, the azalea thing.
Next we have the tale of the Burning Eye Pores.
Yesterday at about 6pm I was out in the back yard, and I decided to pull a few weeds. This turned into about 20 minutes of vigorous weed-pulling. Normally I wear gloves in the garden, but since this was an impromptu weeding session, I didn’t bother.
That was my first mistake.
I came inside at about 6:30 and washed up. A few minutes later, my eyes started burning. And watering. I’m talking a steady stream of tears pouring down my face. I flushed my eyes out with water, but it didn’t help. It was seriously bizarre.
After about a half hour, it was getting worse instead of better. I was ready to go to the ER. I called Dr. Dad, who advised me to take a dose of Benadryl and give it another 30-45 minutes before worrying too much. I took the Benadryl at 7:15 and cancelled my plans for the evening,
By about 8pm, the left eye was a little better, but the right eye was still on fire. I’m not sure but there may have been actual flames shooting out of my eye. I had flushed my eyes, scrubbed my hands and arms up to my elbows, washed my face, and it wasn’t getting any better. I decided maybe I should take a shower, in case whatever I was reacting to had gotten into my hair or something.
This was Mistake Number Two.
Apparently, the heat from the shower was not helpful. By the end of it, I felt like my eye pores must have opened and sucked in even more of whatever was causing the problem. Okay, fine, I don’t think there’s such a thing as eye pores, but it’s fun to say.
EYE PORES! EYE PORES! EYE PORES!
The left eye was feeling ok, but the right eye was now worse than it had ever been. I could barely open it without a surge of burning pain, and the tears weren’t stopping. DAMN YOU, EYE PORES.
I dried off as quickly as I could and went to lie down in the dark, since any sort of light seemed to make it worse. I put a cold washcloth on my eyes and waited.
By about 9:30pm (three hours from when the pain started!) my right eye seemed to be calming down a bit, so after a brief period of TV watching, with a homemade eye patch made of paper towels stuck over the right lens of my eyeglasses, I tucked myself in and went to sleep.
This morning my eyes are fine.
Which brings me to the subject of today’s post. After showering and washing my hair last night, I was too distracted by the ongoing eye pore trauma to put any sort of product in my naturally curly hair. This never happens. EVER.
So when I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror at the puffball-afro-medusa-baby chick-Don King thing happening on my head, I realized it was official: I can never be on a reality show that involves a lack of quality hair care products.
