Hey everyone, it’s Contamination Saturday.
February 18th, 2006Stopped by the Safeway today for a few things, and as I got to the front of the checkout line I smiled and said to the cashier, “How are you?”.
“I’m here.” was her brusque reply.
This was a burly, tough looking woman. A woman who might drive a truck. Or cattle.
As she started to ring up my items, she burst into a horrendous hacking cough. The cough of a 3 pack a day smoker. With pneumonia. And a ferret in her throat.
Gross.
She continued to cough away, picking up my items one by one and running them over the scanner.
“Awwww just take me out back and shoot me”, she sort of yelled in her gravelly and slightly manly voice, to nobody in particular.
At some point she had a particularly drastic hacking fit and then winced, grabbing her neck in pain. She sort of stepped away, and coughed some more. She turned back to me with her runny beady eyes, her head at a funny angle, and said, “Great. Guess I’m going back to the hospital tonight.”
Bummer.
Wait, what?
I mentioned that that didn’t sound like a fun way to spend a Saturday night, when really all I could think was I can’t believe YOU ARE TOUCHING ALL OF MY FOOD ITEMS.
“Yeah, maybe this cold’ll finally get me to quit smokin’.”
Or maybe it will get you to STOP TOUCHING ALL OF MY FOOD ITEMS.
People, if your job requires you to TOUCH PEOPLE’S FOOD ITEMS and you are so sick you need to be hospitalized…MORE THAN ONCE…please stay home.
She did get a palmful of sanitizer from a pump by the register before she handed me my change. Somehow that didn’t make me feel any better about the whole situation.
If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go bathe in Purell. With my food items.
Holy crap! Make sure you get some Airborne! (Warning: their site has sound for some reason.)
did you get the Mason Jars? :p
OMFG! That is so gross! Did you complain to the place? ICK!
Just a note: Avoid mixing Purell and baked goods. You will not like it.
On the other hand, it makes a surprisingly delicious sauce for chicken. It’s tangy bouquet is a treat for the palate.
Hi Sarah,
i really like to read your funny and entertaining writings.
How are you. I actually tried to call you today but I may not have your correct number. It is out of the blue, I know but….. I need to find a solution to something and thought maybe you could be of help.
Help… soo… please email me asap. for the love of music
Suzanne R aka the woman who lives in the shoe!
Eeeew!
It reminds me of one time that I went to Quiznos, which is burned into my memory something like this:
We had ordered and now there were two people working on assembling our sandwiches. I can hear them talking to each other.
“Dude! Check this out!”
There is a pause, I assume there is some sort of checking out occurring.
“Oh. Gross.”
“I know!”… laughter.
“Dude, you need to go to a doctor.”
A lot more laughter, interrupted by.
“No, I am serious. You NEED to have that looked at by a doctor!”
“Chill dude.”
Guess who totally doesn’t feel like eating a sandwich anymore, dude?
Oh, barf!
that’s funny! and gross!
So I’m chugging along in blogmad with BlogExplosion in another window. I start reading this page and I’m thinking “Hmmm, this sounds familiar.” Only then did I look up and see the name of the site.
If I had had your experience with the cashier, I would have either thrown everything in the bathtub and washed it or dumped it in the trash on the way out.
LMAO….sorry it happened to you though.
Yuck!!!! The only thing worse than this is being a teacher and having parents send their sick, coughing and vomiting children to school because they HAVE TO go to work! I’ve got a whole arsenal of anti-bacterial products in my bag to the point where my family swears I’ve got OCD. Nice blog!
Heh heh. You’re gonna die.