Hot Cranky People

The Donald and The Pnut.

The Donald and The Herbert.

The Donald listens intently to Bert’s sage business advice.

Bert tries to eat The Donald’s arm.

Someone I know has a wart on his toe. I started teasing him about it. A lot. He eventually snapped and asked me, very sternly, to stop mentioning it.

So I named it Voldewart.

My friend David, aka Turtleboy, stopped in the Bay Area for a few days during a month-long road trip around California.

Those of you who know me know I love birds. I am a bird person. I am a birder. I bird.

The Northern Mockingbird is a feisty singer. His song is a varied medley of short phrases, each repeated 4-6 times. Listen to a sample here. Think of that car alarm that cycles through about 6 different sounds. You know the one. The really annoying one. It’s pretty similar.

Every night at about 11pm, a mockinbird begins to sing in our yard, right outside the bedroom window. We’ve named him “Jefferson”.

Jefferson T. Mockingbird.

When he begins his nightly ritual, it’s sort of pleasant.

Chirpity chirpity chirpity chirpity WEEEP WEEEP WEEEP WEEEP WEEEP doodleoodle doodleoodle doodleoodle doodleoodle chipchipchipchipchipchipchip

“Hey listen, there’s Jefferson!”

The thing is, he doesn’t stop. Until SIX IN THE MORNING.

Most likely he’s an unmated male. So he’s cruising. He’s looking for his lady love. A little late night mockingbird action.

It’s annoying.

If someone knows a bachelorette mockingbird in the Bay Area, can you please send her our way?

Thanks.

Last night as I was in the express lane at the grocery store, I couldn’t help but giggle at what the woman in front of me was buying.

2 bags of Indulgence chocolate caramels, plastic champagne flutes, and a can of whipped cream.

I was buying cat food.

I think she was planning on a more exciting evening than I was.

Yes, I admit I love reality TV. I also love cooking shows.

So when I found out some friends of mine are contestants on a reality cooking show I was ecstatic.

Be sure to check out my friends Dan and Steve as they compete to win their own cooking show on The Next Food Network Star They have a thriving catering business in Chicago called The Hearty Boys.

They kicked ass in the first two episodes, and I am getting such a kick out of seeing them on TV.

I leave you with a photo of me in a sassy blonde wig and Steve in a festive fake mustache.

My friend Alfie let me know that Comments weren’t working. I fixed it. I think.

Too bad I haven’t written anything in weeks.

Flying back home from New York today. Will update soon! No, really!!