Hot Cranky People

I needed some t-shirts and casual spring pants, so I did a little shopping at Mervyn’s today.

I found a lot of good stuff, including some sassy sandals and sunglasses. I took a huge pile of clothes to the dressing room. I tried on a t-shirt I liked, then on my way to the checkout counter I went back to the display and picked up a few more in different colors.

I made my way to the register, where I was greeted by Mr. Super Friendly Mervyn’s Guy. He was very chatty and wanted to be sure my shopping experience today had been A-OK. I gave him my credit card and he asked for ID.

“Can I see a driver’s license, Mrs. Davis….or is it Miss?”

“It’s Miss.”

He shot me sort of a strange look, which I didn’t think anything about until a few minutes later when I was walking out with my stuff, and I glanced down at the receipt he had handed me.

T-shirt
Women’s Casual
T-shirt
T-shirt
Sportswear
Maternity
Women’s Shoes
Sportswear

Hold the phone.

MATERNITY???

Who buys maternity clothes by mistake? I wasn’t even in the maternity department. I mean, what, had I accidentally picked up some overalls with a HUGE GAPING SPACE FOR A GIANT BASKETBALL BELLY and not noticed?

When I got home I realized one of the t-shirts I grabbed off the rack was, in fact, a maternity shirt. It was in the wrong place, and it looked enough like the others on the rack that I hadn’t noticed. Oops.

Mervyn’s Saga, Part 2 began when I got home and found Mr. Super Friendly Mervyn’s Guy hadn’t taken the security device thingys off one of the pairs of pants. I was tempted to rip it off myself but the label says”WARNING. Tampering will release ink and glass” and that’s, well, bad, so now I have to go back there to get them to de-anti-theft my stupid $9.99 yoga pants.

I love shopping.

This was in my fortune cookie last night.

Apparently the fortune cookie gods know something I don’t.

Actually, they gave us 7 fortune cookies last night, for the two of us. We felt fortunate. Or fortune-y. Or something.

I also learned that the ray of riches will shine upon me. I’m hoping that means it will actually drop some of those riches on me, and that it’s not just a weather forecast. You know, like “cloudy with a chance of riches”.

After living in Chicago for the last 16 years, I’m having a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that winter is pretty much finished here in California.

I wasn’t aware that it had ever started.

This morning I ate breakfast in the back yard with the cats in the sunshine. In March. In a tank top. What is that about??

Here’s what Konfabulator tells me about the current conditions:

And for the record, it’s 37 degrees in Chicago right now. Bwahahaha!!

A few other things:

1. My rocks are still tumbling. I found if I put a big pile of sheets on top of the tumbler, the screams coming from my garage are muffled.
2. Mario quit American Idol.
3. I got talked into watching The Starlet. Wow, is it bad and trashy and hilarious.

I love rocks. I collected them for a while when I was a kid. I still have a lot of them. When I packed them all up for the move from Chicago to California, I was secretly hoping one of the movers would pick up the box, strain under its weight, and say, “What have you got in here? Rocks?”, to which I would simply reply, “Yes.”

A month or two ago I mentioned to my sweetie that I had always wanted a rock tumbler as a kid, and he must have tucked that info away somewhere because one appeared here on Friday for my birthday. Woohoo!

It is designed for kids, but that didn’t stop me from tossing the included bag of rocks in there, adding the water and the packet of grit, and startin’ her up.

Turns out it makes a lot of noise. A screechy, screamy sort of noise. it sounds a little like something is being tortured. It is not pleasant. It is going to take 3 to 4 weeks for these rocks to get all shiny and nice.

Sure, you’re saying to yourself, “Big deal, just put it in the garage. Nobody will hear it unless they are right next to the garage.” Good plan, yes, but my friend from L.A. is staying here all week and sleeping in the room right next to the garage.

Oops.

I considered turning it off and starting it again after my guest has gone back home.

It was only then that I read the part of the instructions that said:

“Once tumbling is started you must continue until finished or the contents left standing in the barrel will harden into a cement like cake.”

Mmmm…cement like cake.

I promised my friend I would make her a fancy friendship bracelet once the rocks were done. Perhaps that will make up for the 4 sleepless nights she is about to spend here.

In other news, the Trash Can Bandit has not made an appearance for the last two weeks. I wonder if he’s been reading my blog.